Culled from Real
SimpleChristy Little Jones, 42
Fort Washington, Maryland
“You don’t know me, but I am no longer
dating your husband…I’m sorry for any pain
I caused your family.” Christy recalls the
exact moment she read that sentence, in an e-
mail sent to her last March. “My heart just
stopped,” says the mother of four (to stepson
AJ, 26; and Skye, 9; Blaze, 8; and Hayes, 6). “I
felt paralyzed.”
Until that point, Christy, a relationship coach,
believed that she and Adrian, 46, her
husband of 10 years, were happily married.
Certainly things weren’t perfect: Business was
slow for Adrian, a car salesman, and their
bank balance had taken a hit. “Adrian and I
were feeling pressure about money,” says
Christy. But she had seen no other warning
signs. “We still had date nights and did things
as a family. I never dreamed he would betray
me.”
After reading and rereading that e-mail,
Christy called her husband at work. Voice
shaking, she demanded an explanation.
“Adrian was defensive at first, said it never
happened, and even hung up on me,” she
remembers. “But a minute later he called
back, crying, admitted it was true, and
begged me to forgive him.”
The story unfolded: Adrian and a customer
had flirted. A one-night stand had turned into
a four-month affair. In February 2012, when
the woman asked Adrian if he would ever
leave his family, he broke off the
relationship. “I was furious,” says Christy. “It
was hard for me not to tell Adrian that we
were over and make him hurt as badly as I
did.” Instead the pair talked and wept
together all night.
“Once the initial shock passed, I was faced
with a choice,” she says. “I could either fight
for my marriage or let this event change
everything.”
Christy made a conscious decision to forgive.
It didn’t happen instantly. For the next six
months, she struggled with resentment and
the fear that Adrian would not be committed
to making the marriage work. “There were
many times I asked him, ‘How could you live
with yourself? How could you look me in the
eye and lie for months?’ And to get closure, I
needed to know every last detail of the affair.
It was extremely painful for Adrian to answer
my questions, but he did so with humility,”
she says.
“Forgiving him was the hardest thing I’ve
ever had to do,” says Christy, “but his
honesty made it easier.” So did the fact that
Adrian confided his wrongdoing to two
friends from their church. The three of them
began meeting each week to pray together
and discuss their faith and the importance of
marriage. “I appreciated that he wanted
other people to hold him accountable,” says
Christy.
While on vacation in Virginia last May,
Christy and Adrian spontaneously renewed
their wedding vows. “We continue to work
on trust issues,” she admits. “But our
marriage is stronger for it. I have no
regrets.” .... A lesson for the unforgiven heart
SimpleChristy Little Jones, 42
Fort Washington, Maryland
“You don’t know me, but I am no longer
dating your husband…I’m sorry for any pain
I caused your family.” Christy recalls the
exact moment she read that sentence, in an e-
mail sent to her last March. “My heart just
stopped,” says the mother of four (to stepson
AJ, 26; and Skye, 9; Blaze, 8; and Hayes, 6). “I
felt paralyzed.”
Until that point, Christy, a relationship coach,
believed that she and Adrian, 46, her
husband of 10 years, were happily married.
Certainly things weren’t perfect: Business was
slow for Adrian, a car salesman, and their
bank balance had taken a hit. “Adrian and I
were feeling pressure about money,” says
Christy. But she had seen no other warning
signs. “We still had date nights and did things
as a family. I never dreamed he would betray
me.”
After reading and rereading that e-mail,
Christy called her husband at work. Voice
shaking, she demanded an explanation.
“Adrian was defensive at first, said it never
happened, and even hung up on me,” she
remembers. “But a minute later he called
back, crying, admitted it was true, and
begged me to forgive him.”
The story unfolded: Adrian and a customer
had flirted. A one-night stand had turned into
a four-month affair. In February 2012, when
the woman asked Adrian if he would ever
leave his family, he broke off the
relationship. “I was furious,” says Christy. “It
was hard for me not to tell Adrian that we
were over and make him hurt as badly as I
did.” Instead the pair talked and wept
together all night.
“Once the initial shock passed, I was faced
with a choice,” she says. “I could either fight
for my marriage or let this event change
everything.”
Christy made a conscious decision to forgive.
It didn’t happen instantly. For the next six
months, she struggled with resentment and
the fear that Adrian would not be committed
to making the marriage work. “There were
many times I asked him, ‘How could you live
with yourself? How could you look me in the
eye and lie for months?’ And to get closure, I
needed to know every last detail of the affair.
It was extremely painful for Adrian to answer
my questions, but he did so with humility,”
she says.
“Forgiving him was the hardest thing I’ve
ever had to do,” says Christy, “but his
honesty made it easier.” So did the fact that
Adrian confided his wrongdoing to two
friends from their church. The three of them
began meeting each week to pray together
and discuss their faith and the importance of
marriage. “I appreciated that he wanted
other people to hold him accountable,” says
Christy.
While on vacation in Virginia last May,
Christy and Adrian spontaneously renewed
their wedding vows. “We continue to work
on trust issues,” she admits. “But our
marriage is stronger for it. I have no
regrets.” .... A lesson for the unforgiven heart
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